Are you married?
Not a pontification on my married friends, I promise!!! Not at all... I got asked this question at the airport yesterday. No joke.
After a long consulting week, I arrived to to Memphis airport to see if I could catch an earlier flight back to the ATL and had some time to kill and a stomach to feed. As any good hungry business traveler would do, I moseyed through the aiprort looking for a place to eat and ran into an old Kelley School of Business classmate that I literally haven't seen in almost 5 years (May 2003 to be exact). After getting over the shock of running into each other so randomly (in the halls of the airport... we were both scurrying for food venues & ended up grabbing lunch at Corky's) we catch up on what we're doing in Memphis, what we do for a living (any good MBA will eventually go here), and then he asks me if I am married. Strange question, huh? Discuss among yourselves for a second... how would you react if that were you?
I laughed under my breath, because after thinking about it for a second or two, I knew exactly what he was asking... it wasn't "are you married?," it was "Did you marry her?" The last time I saw him I was very serious with someone and very giddy about interning back at home because of that. And, from all indications that spring leaving I.U. for my internship - that was the trajectory of my life. Those that walked with me through that season of my life AND know me now know that the answer is no. THAT trajectory of course changed. In fact, I'm still not married and very content being single even though I look forward to potentially being married one day. When I gave him the high-level 411 on what happened, he was apologetic but I didn't mind. We talked a little about "what could have been?" - and to tell you the truth, I hadn't thought about that in a long while, if ever, because it just didn't seem like a relevant thought stream to tell you the truth.
It did get me thinking, not as something on which to dwell on potential regret or to play "what if games" - some of that, I'm human, but just along the lines of God's will and His sovereignty.
I mean, I could play the "what if" games... comparing my life now to the life I would foresee that I would have now if I had in fact married her.... if things that summer were 100% awesome and the trajectory continued; if after reconnecting 2 months after the break happened the spark reignited, apologies were made, and things were made right again; or if I had actually read "For Men Only" or "Captivating" before that summer vs. after it and avoided all of the stupid "foot-in-mouth" and clueless guy incidents. Who knows? I probably would have had a nice little average life, be starting a family, and be somewhat settled.
Of course, I would NOT have had the awesome experiences that I have had the opportunities to participate in. It's imaginable that I would not have moved to Atlanta, not be going to a church as progressive, on-fire, and mission-focused as Buckhead Church, not have been to Croatia -OR- Estonia and defintely not returning there to partner with Peep and crew again this year. All of the rich friendships I have now would not have materialized, and I would not (foreseeably) have experienced the awesome growth in my walk that I enjoy today as a result of walking through the life God has mapped for me over the past 4 years.
Thinking through things, I prefer my life now to what "could have been" :-). Honest. Nothing against her... she's a nice girl and has a good heart. At the end of the day, the path I'm on now, with all of the ministry opportunities, rich friendships, and growth... has been and continues to be exciting.
God's will is an interesting thing. He brings us through deserts to grow us and allows us to experience highs and lows that shape our character to be conformed to Him... and we often complain about it when we're walking through the desert and in that time don't see the beautiful canvas that he's painting out of our lives. And believe me, in the rear-view mirror I can see the blood on the canvas... but I also see the masterpiece that He has created out of it and praise Him.
My God is awsome! Who can fathom the mind of the Lord or consider His ways? He is truly awesome.
chris <><
After a long consulting week, I arrived to to Memphis airport to see if I could catch an earlier flight back to the ATL and had some time to kill and a stomach to feed. As any good hungry business traveler would do, I moseyed through the aiprort looking for a place to eat and ran into an old Kelley School of Business classmate that I literally haven't seen in almost 5 years (May 2003 to be exact). After getting over the shock of running into each other so randomly (in the halls of the airport... we were both scurrying for food venues & ended up grabbing lunch at Corky's) we catch up on what we're doing in Memphis, what we do for a living (any good MBA will eventually go here), and then he asks me if I am married. Strange question, huh? Discuss among yourselves for a second... how would you react if that were you?
I laughed under my breath, because after thinking about it for a second or two, I knew exactly what he was asking... it wasn't "are you married?," it was "Did you marry her?" The last time I saw him I was very serious with someone and very giddy about interning back at home because of that. And, from all indications that spring leaving I.U. for my internship - that was the trajectory of my life. Those that walked with me through that season of my life AND know me now know that the answer is no. THAT trajectory of course changed. In fact, I'm still not married and very content being single even though I look forward to potentially being married one day. When I gave him the high-level 411 on what happened, he was apologetic but I didn't mind. We talked a little about "what could have been?" - and to tell you the truth, I hadn't thought about that in a long while, if ever, because it just didn't seem like a relevant thought stream to tell you the truth.
It did get me thinking, not as something on which to dwell on potential regret or to play "what if games" - some of that, I'm human, but just along the lines of God's will and His sovereignty.
I mean, I could play the "what if" games... comparing my life now to the life I would foresee that I would have now if I had in fact married her.... if things that summer were 100% awesome and the trajectory continued; if after reconnecting 2 months after the break happened the spark reignited, apologies were made, and things were made right again; or if I had actually read "For Men Only" or "Captivating" before that summer vs. after it and avoided all of the stupid "foot-in-mouth" and clueless guy incidents. Who knows? I probably would have had a nice little average life, be starting a family, and be somewhat settled.
Of course, I would NOT have had the awesome experiences that I have had the opportunities to participate in. It's imaginable that I would not have moved to Atlanta, not be going to a church as progressive, on-fire, and mission-focused as Buckhead Church, not have been to Croatia -OR- Estonia and defintely not returning there to partner with Peep and crew again this year. All of the rich friendships I have now would not have materialized, and I would not (foreseeably) have experienced the awesome growth in my walk that I enjoy today as a result of walking through the life God has mapped for me over the past 4 years.
Thinking through things, I prefer my life now to what "could have been" :-). Honest. Nothing against her... she's a nice girl and has a good heart. At the end of the day, the path I'm on now, with all of the ministry opportunities, rich friendships, and growth... has been and continues to be exciting.
God's will is an interesting thing. He brings us through deserts to grow us and allows us to experience highs and lows that shape our character to be conformed to Him... and we often complain about it when we're walking through the desert and in that time don't see the beautiful canvas that he's painting out of our lives. And believe me, in the rear-view mirror I can see the blood on the canvas... but I also see the masterpiece that He has created out of it and praise Him.
My God is awsome! Who can fathom the mind of the Lord or consider His ways? He is truly awesome.
chris <><
Comments