Invasive but necessary

I got up like I normally do this morning, but unlike most mornings I did not go to my coffee maker to make the morning java.  No, I didn't give up coffee (I hear some of you laughing)... I had my annual physical this morning, which means I get to give up luxuries like food and beverages (just "high quality H-2-0") from midnight until the yearly trial is over.

Most of you reading this post have been through the annual medical physical.  I'm pretty happy that my insurance covers it at 100% now, but for most of us that's the only part of it we're really looking forward to.  It is a fairly invasive (both in the exams you have to go through and the questions they ask you) and somewhat awkward hour of your life.  

This year was a little different for me, because during last year's exam my doctor had a "hmmm... that's interesting" experience when feeling around my thyroid gland, which resulted in a lot more doctors' visits; resulting in a surgery where my thyroid, suspected of being malignant, was removed (found out that it was not malignant... Yay!), and a lot of subsequent "trips to the vampire" to adjust the dosage of my thyroid replacement drug which is now stable.  In light of this past year,  you can imagine that I didn't go into my physical thinking to myself "Good grief, when is he going to be finished with this?"  I was thinking, "please be thorough and don't find anything."  

Praise God, I'm here to report that I walked away from the doctor's office this morning without any action items.  After this past year, I am so thankful for that!!! 

Fast forward to this evening, I was having dinner with a buddy of mine and we were talking about past relationships and lessons learned from those experiences.  This has been a topic fresh on my mind but not blogged about because the events have been fresh, but I'm now about 3 1/2 months removed (Has it been that long?) from a very serious relationship.  There's been a lot of processing in that season and I am now in a season looking at the world through the lens of possibility... a really good place. 

But I wouldn't have gotten there without the support of my community; and especially the friendships of a group of guys that make up my "mentor group" at Buckhead Church, my long-term friends, and the guys in my small groups that not only have been present for me, but have also engaged me in those uncomfortable dialogues about "what's really going on" in my soul. 

And believe me, having a serious relationship where you were completely "in" end is kind of like going into that doctor's exam room spiritually and emotionally and having your life exposed before your eyes.  No other type of relationship, save marriage (I've never been married so I can't speak to that), exposes your character and your emotional gaps quite like being that close relationally to someone of the opposite gender.  And when those things are exposed by a breakup, you do have a choice... 

You can let God expose, cut, and trim on your life through trusted relationships, prayer, and processing your life... you can wisely move toward healing and wholeness... 

- or - 

You can bury the hurt, you can get busy, and you can punt the hurt into the future and hope it doesn't come back.  The problem is, with relationships that close, time doesn't heal wounds.  It just creates a petri dish of soul infection that if unchecked will get worse.  

This is why I am really thankful for these friends who are willing to wound for the sake of healing; because leaving me as I was just wasn't good enough.  I know that the season isn't totally compete, but thanks for asking tough questions... really.   As a result, I am in a great place and I can't wait to see what God does in my life during this next season.  

I'm also thankful that I did something, and pray that I continue to "do" something with what I've been given.  Because getting news about a hurt in your soul and doing nothing is kind of like hearing from your doctor that you might have cancer and then going about your business as if nothing ever happened.  Bringing it around to my thyroid saga.  While it's an experience I'd really like to pass on doing again, it is something that I look back on and thank God he allowed me to live out and pray that I glorified Him in that season of uncertainty and people could see Jesus's grace lived out through me.   Additionally, as I have been dealing with the uncertainty and the hurt of a lost relationship, I hope that God let His light shine bright through me; in a season that is dark for a lot of us singles.  

Bringing it back again to the doctor's office... at the end of that appointment the one thing we want to hear at the end of that awkward, invasive, somewhat embarrassing hour is that we are all good; that we have a clean bill of health.  I was thankful to have that today. 

And in our soul lives as we are being examined, if we look at the outstretched hands of Jesus, he is telling us that same thing.  "I love you; I died for you; and because of what I did on your behalf... You're okay."  There's a ton of peace that comes with that, and He's offering us His bill of clean health if we let him.  

The question is, will we let Him?  Will we, when we let Him, believe Him when He tells us that we're okay?  

Sometimes we need a little awkward and invasive for Him to show us that we are.