Losing 30 Pounds in one week, take two

I don't know if you know this about me or not, but I work my "9 to 5" primarily looking at a lot of marketing data; analyzing how to best market and position solutions.  In an strange way, the use of data and quantitative analysis has become the new "normal" for the 21st century marketer.  The advent of a new brand of software platforms called "Marketing Automation" tools - such as Marketo which I am a power user in and use heavily in my professional life and Eloqua which I've used in the past - and started the age where tech-savvy-ness (Yes, I just made up a word) and marketing "art" will be blended and are being blended.  It's really exciting to be a marketer today and one reason why I invested in my MBA, and will be more so in the future.

So - what does this have to do with losing 30 pounds?

Shockingly, I've been at this blog for close to 5 years now.  As a marketer by trade, someone who loves to understand how people think, and who wants to create a blog that grabs your attention - I pay some attention to my site stats.  What blogs are you reading more of?  What are people searching for on Google that's leading them here?  Is there a theme to what folks read?  

I won't answer all of those questions here, but one observation that I've consistently had is that the most popular - both in terms of how often it is read and how often it is searched for - is a blog I wrote entitled "Exposed:  How to Lose 30 Pounds in One Week."  It was an entry I wrote after watching an opening episode of the Biggest Loser in which one guy lost 30 pounds in a week, and a musing about how it takes a shock to our senses to our need for change that enables us to get dramatic results (and I believe there was a political angle to that post that our country hasn't quite embraced).  

It also causes me to think (here's the psychologist side of me coming out), why are so many people wanting to learn how to lose 30 pounds in a week?  I mean, I see on my Google stats what you are looking for, and it's pretty obvious.  

So, to satisfy your curiosity; not that I've ever lost 30 pounds in a week (but I did lose 35 pounds in the course of 5 to 6 months), here's my speculation as to how you can do this:

1. You need to have a LOT of weight to lose in the first place.  Most of the weight lost in the first week or two is water mass, which will come out when you make a drastic change in lifestyle, diet, and exercise.  However, 30 pounds of water retention is a lot; it's like losing the equivalent of a small dog in weight. 
2. Get a sadistic trainer like Jillian Michaels who will make you puke before letting you quit (and then may not let you quit).  Drastic change calls for drastic trainers.  
3. It's going to take a lot of time in the gym to burn that many calories, so take that week off work and camp out in the gym.  
4. Sauna?  Couldn't hurt. 

Other than that, I don't know if I can give you any additional observations.  I am good at dieting when I want to be, but I'm a amateur athlete (at least I claim to be - I've run 4 half marathons in the last 3 years and have two more inked on the calendar) and haven't amassed the mass required to test my theory (nor want to).  

However, in all of the research I've conducted, this seems to be a concern, so I thought I would at least address it.  I hope that this helps.  But seriously, nothing beats eating right and exercise for ensuring that you're never in a position where you need to think in terms of losing 30 pounds in a week.  However, you can read the blog, which may not help any diets but may get you watching Jillian make someone cry next season.  

Or reading above, if you are a marketer and you haven't heard of Eloqua or Marketo (I'm sure you have), you may want to research this space and get your team on board.  The marketing world is going there - I can attest from being active in this field that Automation (regardless of which horse you decide to run with) is a game changer...  That's just a little PSA.