Where is the Rocky theme song when you need it?

As we all know, in places all over the State of Pennsylvania today, Democratic voters are making their voices heard as they choose between their two candidates today:  Hillary Rodham Clinton and Barak Obama....

Or as I'd like to call it, Round 15 of an ugly (but entertaining) heavyweight (in terms of dollars raised, not necessarily in terms of character) bout.  If the votes are being tallied in Philly, then let's cue the Rocky movie theme music.... bam, bam, bambam bam, bam bam bambam, bam, bam...

On this corner, hailing from New York... but not really from New York (where is she from, really?)... the wife of former President Bill Clinton, who is actually a liability to her campaign rather than an asset (go figure that out).  The woman who knows more polls than CBS News or USA Today, who's got more faces than the State of Texas, who's got more positions on Iraq than even John Kerry...  who WILL socialize health care in America if she had the chance... the esteemed (or not so much) Hillary Rodham Clinton!!!!

(rounds of cheers and boos echoing throughout the arena)

In the other corner, hailing from Chicago, Illinois... but maintains that he is from Kansas even though he lived all over the place and went to the most posh Ivy League schools...  The man who has branded the terms "Hope" and "Change" and is being hailed by many in the liberal blogopshere, the official Obama campaign, Saint Oprah herself as the Messiah of American politics.  He may, in fact, BE the messiah of American politics, because like Jesus, Barak Obama has spent some time with the seediest of characters... like the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Bill Ayers, Teddy Kennedy, and I'm sure we'll find out about others before this election is done ;-).  Although, I think we can attest that there was and is only one perfect Son of God (Jesus), so can Barak maintain his close association with these characters without being influenced by them... but wait?  Barak says that Wright has made him right with Jesus... Can we assume that Wright's faith = Barak's?  Hmmmmmm....  anyway, I digress.  So - on the right corner, the liberal messiah of American politics... Barak Obama!!!!

(waves of cheers and boos... some chanting of slogans as has been customary during his speeches).  

Annnnnnddddd... there's the bell!  

A right by Hillary weakly strikes Obama... oh wait, she breaks back with a hard LEFT and stings the challenger.  A sling of mud from the left hand of the Obama stuns Hillary and they're now at each other... it's become a cage match fellas!!!  Oh wait, there's Howard Dean and MoveOn.org to break up the fight... but now, to everyone's surprise, Hillary delivers a center body blow to the MoveOn official... which just makes him mad.  He'll probably blog about this tomorrow and raise some more cash for Obama.  

And again... the bell sounds.  No one has been knocked out.  And what will happen when the votes are tallied???

We have some winners!  And some losers!

The winners are:

1.) John McCain.  Heck, by just staying out of the news and being himself away from the fray, he's doing more good for himself than campaigning could possibly do.

2.) The CNN "Best Political Team on TV" - because this one will spaw an even more devious Round 16... and CNN needs the ratings.  

3.) Satirical wise guys like me... because it gives me material to write about ;-)

4.) Al Gore.  He just gets to continue getting the limelight and positive PR without running for office while watching these crazy fools.

The losers are:

1.) The Democratic voter.  

2.) Anyone who wants to see any real discourse and dialouge in our politics.

3.) Those poor superdelegates that have to sort this mess out in July.  Good luck.

4.) John Edwards.  He should have just stayed in the race.